Supporting a survivor of sexual misconduct or harassment, can be daunting especially when it is someone close to you and you are worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. You don't have to be an expert to support someone but there are some really simple things you can do that will help.
Listen and believe
- Listen. If someone discloses an experience of harassment, misconduct or assault to you, listening to what they tell with no judgment, compassion and empathy can be incredibly helpful. Just taking the time to listen to someone and talk about what has happened can help.
- Believe. Rather than asking a lot of questions, just let them know that you believe them and will support them as best as you can. Try not to skip ahead to what to do practically without first validating what you have heard and listening to what they say.
- Reassure. Remind them that no one, regardless of relationship or status, has the right to hurt them and that no matter what, it is not their fault that this occurred.
- Give options. Somebody who has experienced sexual assault or rape may feel they have had power and control taken away from them. This means the most important thing is to respond in a way that increases their choice over what happens next. You can simply ask them what they need or want. They might not make the same decision you would; however, only they can decide what is best for them. You can help them explore options but avoid telling them what they should do.
Signpost to University Support
There is lots of support available at ARU that your friend or loved one can access. We have resources and people ready to help you so don't hesitate to reach out to our wellbeing support teams and remember that you're not alone.
For student wellbeing support options visit our website.
For staff wellbeing support options visit The Heron.
Campus security and SafeZone app
We're committed to making sure we have a secure and supportive environment for everyone. If you ever feel unsafe or need urgent help on campus, contact our Safety and Security team as soon as possible.
The SafeZone personal safety app is free to download and use, and is the quickest way to get emergency help on campus.
Visit aru.ac.uk/keepsafe
Signpost to specialist services
- Rape Crisis England and Wales. Provides further information on supporting a survivor.
- The Survivors Trust. A service for male survivors of sexual abuse as a child or as an adult.
- Victim Support. If you report a crime to the police, they should automatically ask you if you would like help from an organisation like Victim Support. But anyone affected by crime can contact them directly, you don’t need to talk to the police to get Victim Support help.
- Galop is an LGBT+ anti-violence charity who supports people who have experienced hate crime, sexual violence or domestic abuse. They also support lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system.
Reporting options
Somebody who has experienced sexual misconduct may feel they have had power and control taken away from them. This means the most important thing is to respond in a way that increases their choice over what happens next. This includes respecting any decision they may take regarding reporting including a decision not to report at all.
There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose not to report, only they can decide what is best for them.
Police
Sexual assault is a criminal offence. If the person in question is thinking of reporting it to the police, Rape Crisis have produced a useful list of things to think about.
To report an incident you can call 101, report online or visit your local police station to report a crime.
To report an incident anonymously to the police you can call crime stoppers at any point on 0800 555 111 or use their online form.
Reporting is a big decision, and all of the support services linked to above can support you with this, if your friend or loved one decides to make a police report.
University
If the perpetrator is a member of the ARU community, your friend or loved one will have the option of submitting a formal report. The first step is for them consider the 'Report with contact details' option. An advisor can provide your friend or loved one with advice and support on what options are available to make an informed decision.