Supporting a survivor of domestic abuse can be daunting, especially when it is someone close to you, and you are worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. You don't have to be an expert to support someone, but there are some simple things you can do that will help.
Listen and believe
- Listen. If someone discloses an experience of domestic abuse to you, listening to what they tell you with no judgment, compassion, and empathy can be incredibly helpful. Just taking the time to listen to someone and talk about what has happened can help.
- Believe. Rather than asking questions, just let them know that you believe them and will support them as best as you can. Try not to skip ahead to what to do practically without first validating what you have heard and listening to what they have to say.
- Reassure. Remind them that no one, regardless of relationship or status, has the right to hurt them and that no matter what, it is not their fault that this occurred.
- Give options. Somebody who has experienced or is experiencing domestic abuse may feel they have had power and control taken away from them. This means the most important thing is to respond in a way that increases their choice over what happens next. You can simply ask them what they need or want. They might not make the same decision you would; however, only they can decide what is best for them. You can help them explore options but avoid telling them what they should do.
Signpost to University Support
University Support
There is lots of support available at ARU that you can access. We have resources and people ready to help you so don't hesitate to reach out to our wellbeing support teams and remember that you're not alone.
For student wellbeing support options visit our website.
For staff wellbeing support options visit The Heron.
Campus security and SafeZone app
We're committed to making sure we have a secure and supportive environment for everyone. If you ever feel unsafe or need urgent help on campus, contact our Safety and Security team as soon as possible.
The SafeZone personal safety app is free to download and use, and is the quickest way to get emergency help on campus.
Visit aru.ac.uk/keepsafe
Signpost to Specialist Services
Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: for women experiencing domestic abuse, their family, friends, colleagues and others calling on their behalf and this can be anonymous: 0808 2000 247.
- Galop: advice and support to people who have experienced biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexual violence or domestic abuse. They also support lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system. Call 020 7704 2040.
- Rights of Women have detailed advice about reporting to the police and a guide to criminal investigations.
- Men’s Advice Line: helpline for male victims of domestic violence: 0808 801 0327 (open Monday - Friday 09:00 - 17:00).
- Refuge provides a wide range of support to women and children through their services.
Reporting Options
It's important to respect any reporting decision, including the decision not to report at all. There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose not to report, only they can decide what is best for them.
University
If the perpetrator is a member of the ARU community, your friend or loved one will have the option of submitting a formal report. The first step is for them to consider the 'Report with contact details' option. An advisor can provide your friend or loved one with advice and support on what options are available to make an informed decision.
Police
Domestic (relationship) abuse is against the law, and the person in question can choose to report it to the police.
In an emergency or if you are in immediate danger, you should dial 999. Otherwise, you can call 101, report online or visit your local police station to report a crime.
Reporting is a big decision, and all of the support services above can support you with this if your friend or loved one decides to make a police report.